Remembering

It is funny what we remember and what we forget.

I was scrolling through the pictures of our recent trip to Haiti and thinking to myself, "I don't ever want to forget!" I posted a picture from the trip to my desktop as a constant reminder. I am trying to position Haiti in my mind and heart in ways that I will not forget.

Since coming home from Haiti, Dustin and I have been making some changes around our house. We have totally gone through our clothing and cut back on all we are keeping. Basics, necessities, and important things only. "Why do we need so much?" we keep asking ourselves.

I have been in the process of organizing our memorabilia to get things cleaned up. Each person has a Tupperware with their stuff in it. Andrew and Ethan both have some of their teeny tiny preemie clothes, little things they have made, pictures and other memories of their little lives. Dustin and I have baby clothes in ours too, precious reminders of what once was. Dustin has a heap of crazy things I drew, weird books I illustrated and a bunch of other odd things I made for him while we were dating. As I have carefully gathered these things up and gently placed them in their boxes I have done a lot of remembering. I have smiled, cried a little and laughed out loud at some of the things that we have so that we can "remember!"

I found a paper from when I was a senior in high school. We went to Romania when I was a junior and it forever changed my life. I wrote about that in Senior English. I remember that time. I remember that I felt God calling me to the ministry so strongly. I remember the places, the faces, the experience of Romania. But as I read that paper there was something that I had forgotten.

When we went to the orphanage the children didn't know what my braces were. I was embarrassed to have all of that metal in my mouth just to make my teeth straight. I wrote in that paper, "$3600 for straight teeth! $3600 could have bought 3600 loaves of bread." I had forgotten that. Had forgotten that feeling. Forgotten my own angst. Forgotten the desire to have less. How could I have forgotten? How?

I don't want to forget things like that anymore. I don't want to become comfortable with how things are here and forget how things are there. I don't want to remember just what happens to me and to forget what is happening to them. We know so much, have seen so much, and yet we so quickly forget. Life gets in the way. That stupid tyrannical urgency of our society fogs our memories and blinds us to what is important. How can I forget anymore? I can't.

$3600 could have bought 3600 loaves of bread. I don't want to forget that.

The $4 I used to spend on a cup of coffee could mean life for Haitians. I don't want to forget that.

The money spent on my birthday and Christmas gifts could provide food, education, and hope for countless people. I don't want to forget that.

Haiti has changed me, again. It has helped me to remember things I already knew but had forgotten. From now on I'm working on remembering.

www.haitiwaterproject.com